DAY 293

We wished we were stars. Then we would know exactly what we were. But instead we call ourselves flesh and scrape the surface searching for feeling. Today I thought maybe I know too much. I have been looking through drawers since I learned about secrets. My mom had a secret. I knew it was bad at nine. I didn't trust him. I looked through found things I should not know. My fate is the false success of this searching. Often I've found myself proved wrong by truth. I found the diamond earrings. Yes, I thought, "she hides them because they are from him and she wants to hide him from me". No, they were from grandmother. A birthday gift stowed away for my tenth birthday. When I peeled apart the wrapping, careful not to rip the paper, saving the ribbon for it's next use I learned about guilt. Just out of my grasp I fear something. But I have no reason to. I love you. I am letting go. It is a gift from me to you.